The Odds. Aren't we all playing them?

Happy New Year!! 

Three days late, but hey, it’s the thought that counts right?? 

We have been very busy on all fronts.  We had company in town for the Holidays, hosted Christmas for my husband’s family, and dropped $1,159 at the baby makin doctor!

To bring you up to speed on the baby makin, we are currently smack in the middle of our two week wait.  It’s when we twiddle our thumbs for two weeks and wait to see if all the pokes, stabs and injections worked!  According to all of the millions of message boards dedicated to the subject of infertility this is supposed to be the worst part.  I’m inclined to disagree.  I think the nine weeks after I find out I’m pregnant will be the worse part.  It seems unfair that instead of being excited about my Big Fat Positive (BFP) I will be terrified.  Terrified that we won’t make it out of that first trimester.  I guess that’s my cross to bear.  It could be worse.

When I initially went to the internets to read up on some of this fertility junk I was caught off guard.  I didn’t expect it to be so sad.  Yes, in hindsight I realize that was ridiculous.  The women on the message boards are, for lack of a better word, desperate.  Desperate to become mothers.  They have spent thousands of dollars and gone through countless procedures with no results.  Reading the stories and advice they had posted for each other left me feeling down right defeated.  Does any of this work for anyone?  I asked Captain about it and she said, “The women who get pregnant have babies.  They don’t have time to post on message boards.”  So I’m going to go ahead and cling to that. The Odds are just devastatingly low.

When I was told that insemination (IUI) was Captains recommendation my first question was, “How much is this going to run me?”  That might seem like a superficial concern to some, considering the ultimate result is (fingers crossed) a tinny human.  But, if there is one thing I HAVE learned about all this fertility stuff it’s that it is pretty spendy.  We are paying for all of this out of pocket people.  Payment is expected before any procedures and as far as I can tell there is no payment plan.  Now keep in mind that we had already shelled out $600 on blood work and ultra sounds so when the nurse told me it was going to be another $580 for the insemination I wanted to know what I was gettin for my money.

I asked her what the odds were of us conceiving though intercourse.  Now keep in mind that I had been on the fancy (read expensive) injectables to grow the good eggs and I would be taking a “trigger shot” to induce ovulation.  I figured that with my fancy super egg and all the guessing taken out of ovulation that it would pretty much be a done deal.  This is where my ignorance is just downright embarrassing.  Do you know what she said our odds were???  I’ll tell you, 20%.  You read that right, TWENTY PERCENT! 

Did you know that a normal couple has only a 15%-20% chance of conceiving every month through normal intercourse?!?!  I certainly did NOT!  I maintain that my eighth grade health teacher LIED TO ME!!  I remember after that class feeling like if a wiener got anywhere near me I would instantly be pregnant!!  Doomed to be a high school dropout, never to amount to anything more than a name on a welfare check.  LAIR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE MRS. K. LAIR, LIAR!

OK, sorry.  I got a little off topic.  Let’s circle back to my convo with the nurse.  After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I asked her what our odds were if we did the insemination.  Now these odds have to be pretty stellar right?  I mean the trigger shot is going to make sure the egg shows up to the party and the sperm are being dropped off at the front door.  So play that funky music white boy because this fiesta just got REAL!!  Hahaha, laughs reality.  Ha.  Ha.  Ha.  Do you know what she said our odds were???  DO YOU!?!?!?!  25%.  I pointed out that that was over $100 a percentage point and if you ask me, as far as value goes, that’s pretty crappy.  She was unmoved.  She told me to talk it over with my husband and get back to her. 

My husband and I talked about it.  Captain actually called us to point out another upside to the IUI is that there would be a semen analysis as part of the process.  Since we hadn’t done one yet it was kind of like a twofer.  After weighing all the pros and cons we decided to go for the insemination.  Sounds crazy right?  $580 for 5 percentage points.  I know.  We were pretty pot committed though and you don’t have to play many hands of poker to know that a 5% chance on the turn can be all you need to win.