I have a few questions for the big guy. None of them are about the meaning of life or
how to solve world hunger. I’m not that
evolved. I wanna know why being a chick
sucks. I’m shallow like that. Seriously
though, what’s the worst thing a man has to deal with solely because of his
gender? Ear hair? Wet dreams?
The accidental kick in the balls from time to time? I WILL TRADE.
I just want to know why God didn’t divide all this crapola up more
equaly. For example:
They take menstral cramps and we’ll keep sore boobs. We’ll even keep periods and being pregnant for
the better part of a year but child birth is all them. Oh and high heels, they can take that
too. We’ll keep boobs and they can keep
balls but the boobs will stay high and tight and the balls will hang to their knees the day after their 30th birthday. We’ll take wet dreams off their plate because
that actually sounds fun, but they will be expected to remove all body hair including
the ear hair that they might was well keep.
Deal? They would never go for
it. You know why? Because they know exactly how good they've got it! That and because they are wimps.
Did I mention I’m a little hormonal crazy right now? We are a few days into our two week
wait. Maybe it’s the hormones talking
but sometimes instead of it being OUR two week wait it feels like MY two week
wait. It’s pretty much all I think about
and I’m fairly confident if you asked J what day our two week wait was over he’d
struggle to come up with the right answer.
I get it. I’m the one who
regularly wants to stab someone. I’m the
one who’s so bloated she’s about to burst.
I’m the one who feels like she got kicked in the gut. I’m the one who has to stick beads up my vajayjay
twice a day. It makes total sense that I
can’t distract myself for longer than 2.5 seconds while he can’t tell you what
day we are on. It makes sense. BUT IT’S NOT FAIR! <<throws head back and stomps feet>> All he has to do is jiz in a cup. You think I can get him to trade? Yeah, I doubt it.
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