Day 1 (Again)

Welp, the summer is over and so is our baby makin sabbatical.  I’m not going to lie, it was a pretty dope summer.  I honestly meant to blog all about it.  I guess I was just too busy kicking ass at being awesome.  

But alas, the air is cool, the leaves are turning, and I just got my lovely box of potions from the specialty pharmacy.  You know how usually getting packages in the mail is exciting and fun?  Yeah this isn't that.  Because some of the medication have to be kept cold and because they cost thousands of dollars I have them delivered to my office.  I work at a corporate headquarters that is attached to one of our manufacturing plants.  Deliveries are made to the dock of the plant so there is always a little anxiety for me while I wait for my special box to make its journey from the dock, to the mail room, and then finally to the safety of my desk.  Because of the nature of theses meds the contents need to be inspected and inventoried immediately and any problems reported asap.  Standing in my cubicle, I opened the box and found something unexpected.

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

I know what those are, but why are there so many??  Those syringes are used for intramuscular injections – read: butt shot.  The entire length of the needle is stabbed into your ass.  It hurts.  A LOT.  The HCG shots I have taken before and will have to take again are done this way.  It’s the shot that makes you ovulate.  But there is only one.  What on earth then, is all of those needles for, you ask?  Apparently, I found out upon further inspection, they are for progesterone shots.  To be given DAILY.  For NINE WEEKS.

I’ll admit that before this adventure began I was kinda a wienie when it came to needles.  But you don’t head down this path for long before you get over it.  Between blood draws and injections, sticking needles into your body becomes a routine.  But these are different.  Butt shots don’t just hurt temporarily.  They aren’t just a little sting until it’s over.  These are needles into your muscle.  They hurt for days.  I’m not going to lie, I looked at that giant bag of syringes and started to cry.  At work.  Right there in my cubicle.  “Why didn’t anyone warn me??” I kept thinking as I tried to muffle my sobs.  I put my head between my knees and took a deep breath.  Then I remembered…..

The nurse had mentioned that I wouldn't be needing any of the vagina beads I has previously complained about.  I remembered thinking, “Woo hoo!  No more sticking beads up my vag that inevitably dissolve and stain my favorite undies!!” I also remembered the nurse saying something about an oil instead.  I guess I was just so pumped about the beads being off the table that I glossed over the part about the oil being injected.  I don’t know what I thought I was going to have to do with it but shots in my ass never even crossed my mind.  I would commit murder right now for some vagina beads

Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the best part!  The side effects.  Here are my faves:

1. Moodiness.  Well that’s great because usually during all of this I’m just a peach!
2. Fatigue.  Well at least I’ll be too tired to go anywhere so the number of people who will have to deal with side effect #1 will be less.  Maybe I’ll still have friends when this is over.
3. Weight gain.  Yeah, because I need more of that.  Have I mentioned the 20lbs I've gained since we started this?
4. Facial Hair.  For fuck sakes.  My husband and I already fight over the blow dryer.  Now the beard trimmer too?