#pregnantproblems

I don’t fit at my desk anymore.  My belly’s in the way.  I can barely reach my keyboard.  My pregnant brain however does not seem to be capable of coming up with a solution.  So I just constantly bump into my desk and then just stare at my own abdomen with a confused look on my face.  I tried moving my keyboard closer to me but then my elbows hang off my desk.  I tried lowering my chair so my bump fits under the desk but them I’m practically sitting on the floor…I can’t be the only one right?  Seriously, what do women do?  Also, when will my problem solving abilities return?  I miss them…

I’d love to use that as my excuse for not keeping up with this but that would be a big fat load of crap.  So what’s been holding me up?  I’m freaking miserable.

I painted this ridiculously unrealistic picture in my mind of what pregnancy would be like and so far have been severely disappointed. 

I guess I thought that once I finally got pregnant all the crappy stuff would be over.  For so long I looked at pregnancy as the goal that I must have forgotten that it was just the beginning.  When I thought about not ever being able to be pregnant I was absolutely devastated, destroyed by the thought of never being able to experience the miracle of carrying a child, of feeling it grow in your womb, of giving birth.  Well let me tell you, a few short months of pregnancy changed everything.

If someone can figure out how to grow this baby to term back in that petri dish I’ll gladly sign up!  You know that feeling of your unborn child growing in your womb?  Yeah, that’s happening because it’s sucking the life out of you.  And carrying that thing around?  Yeah, it makes your feet hurt, your back ache, and your body sweat in places and ways you never thought possible.  That glow everyone talks about?  It’s just sweat, and all that sweat makes your skin break out, your hair look like a hobo’s, and your underwear smell like a hamster cage.  Did you know your vagina can sweat?  NEITHER.  DID.  I.  And if you thought the chin hairs were going to stop after the progesterone injections, my friend, you were mistaken.  I’m basically growing a beard.  By the end of this pregnancy I’ll be able to be a stunt double for the cast of Duck Dynasty.  Hand to God.

OK, enough of that.  On to some boring medical stuff I should probably document along the way.  I have high blood pressure.  The doctor put me on bp medication and baby aspirin, because apparently I’m 32 going on 60.  Also, they spotted a couple soft markers for Down’s Syndrome during our anatomy scan.  They took about a pint of my blood to do a screening test (Materniti21).  The results of which, take seven to ten business days.  Might as well be a year to nervous parents.  But you know, nothing has been quick and easy so far so why start now.

Oh yeah!  I almost forgot, we are having a little girl!!!