37wks 4days: Meet James and Kate

Holy Shit people, time flies when you're carrying twins and trying to get ready for their arrival! I made it to 37wks 4days. I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty proud of that. I also delivered them both vaginally, I'm pretty freaking proud of that too. This pregnancy was BY FAR physically the hardest thing I have EVER done.

The morning of August 3rd J and I headed to the hospital for my induction. My blood pressure had started to creep up, I was itchy all over, and quite frankly, freaking over it. We were both ready to meet our babies.

After we checked in and dorked around a bit they got me hooked up and started me on the drugs. As I suspected, I had been having some contractions but I barely felt them. I was a centimeter dilated. I quickly learned that because Biscuits was so freaking low they had to reach around his head to check my cervix. There's not a whole lot of room in a vagina to be reaching around anything! Basically it was the first time of many that day I questioned this whole VBAC idea of mine. Holy smokes did that hurt like a son of a bitch!

After a few hours the contractions were getting a little more intense but I could breath through them, hell, I could talk through most of them. This is when I started to get real cocky. Like maybe I just have a high pain tolerance or something? Maybe I'm just an absolute bad ass? Maybe the universe was rewarding me for all the hell we'd been through with a nice easy labor? Keep in mind, through this whole process I am being treated like a magical unicorn. People are coming in and out, looking at my read outs, and talking about my plan. Not only am I attempting to deliver these guys out my hoo-ha but I'm doing it after a section. AND Gravy is still breech. I guess this is rare as fuck and worthy of a few extra gawkers. Better believe, I ate that shit up. "Come on in people, this is a teaching hospital after all. Check out how brave and awesome I am!" I am an idiot.

Dr. S had a resident working with him that day. She was, in fact, a bad ass. We will call her Dr. BA. She came in and wanted to check me and possibly break my water to really get this party started. She checked me and I was at about a 3.5/4. The pain was so intense I called out to Jesus. I'm pretty sure I lost my bad ass status. She broke my water and I vowed not to be checked again until I'd had an epidural. Probably not the best decision I had made.

After my water was broken it didn't take long for my contractions to really pick up. For a while though, I was still doing alright. Still feeling like I was hot shit. I also had a real morbid curiosity about how bad this was really going to get. I mean, people do it every day, right? Let me tell you what people, it gets bad. REAL BAD. At one point I was sitting on the side of the bed holding the nurses had, breathing through a contraction and when it was finally over I just looked at her and yelled "BITCHES DO THIS THEIR BATH TUBS!! WHAT THE FUCK!!" You see those shows about women who didn't know they were pregnant starting to go into labor, those women must think they are dying, like knocking on deaths door. It was FUCKING INTENSE. My personality shifted. I threatened divorce was mostly serious. It was time for the epidural. If only that sucker would have worked a little better...

By the time I was mostly numb and the nurse checked me again I was at an 8.5 mabey a 9. It has been an hour and half since Dr. BA had broken my water. That's crazy fast. I guess Biscuits was ready to get the fuck out. But like I said, I was only mostly numb I had a spot on the left side of my abdomen that I could still feel EVERYTHING. They rolled me around and shit but none of that worked. They ended up giving me a bolus which is just a fancy name for a big dose all at once. Finally I felt some relief.

Accept now I couldn't feel anything. It's real hard to push a baby out of your body if you can't feel ANYTHING below your nipples. They decided to have me "labor down". Basically, enjoy my new found numbness and get some rest. Every now and then the doctor popped in and asked if I could feel any pressure. I didn't. The nurse assured me that when it was time I would definitely feel the pressure. I didn't.

After about an hour and a half Dr. BA wanted to do some practice pushing. Basically, since I still couldn't feel anything she wanted to see if I could push before moving me to the OR. All twins are delivered in the OR. Guess what guys, I can. Maybe, a little too good...

On the third practice push Biscuits' heart rate dropped. Like lightening they were throwing things on top of me, putting an oxygen mask on my face and wheeling me to the OR. We were flying down the hall! Dr. S met us in the OR but to my shock did not immediately start cutting my body open. Dr. BA explained to Dr. S that Biscuits was right there and that she thought with a little help from some forceps I could still deliver him vaginally. We didn't have much time though. Dr. S told me he was going to count to three and I needed to push as hard as I could. On three, with tears streaming down my face, I pushed with everything I had. Wouldn't you know it, that little shit popped right out! We was thrown on my chest, rubbed down and promptly taken over to his own little team of doctors and nurses. They gave him a little cpap to get going and he in turn peed on everyone. Meanwhile, I still had to deliver another baby.

Gravy was what they call an assisted delivery. Basically, using ultra sound as a guide, Dr. BA with Dr. S's guidance went up there and pulled her out. One leg, then the next, one arm, then the other, and out she slid! It was pretty surreal! It was certainly eventful but everyone made it out safe and sound. Internets, meet James and Kate.