Class Field Trip: The Most Embarrassing Parent Moment Ever

Last week MB asked me if I would go on his upcoming class field trip to the museum.  He informed me that I would get to ride the bus with him and everything.  Instantly I agreed.

As a step parent it’s pretty apparent that I am the third favorite.  I don’t mind.  It’s supposed to be that way.  However, because of my third place status I get pretty geeked when MB asks me specifically to do things with him.  I’d compare it to the clumsy kid on the playground getting picked first to play kickball.  You’re surprised but you don’t dare question it and before the team captain can change his mind you are running up to your place by his side as fast as you can (trying not to trip of course).

I emailed the teacher to ask if there was still room and sent in my five dollars.  We even made a special trip to the grocery store to buy what would go in our sack lunch.  I’m not sure who was more excited about this field trip.  Yes I do.  It was me.

Finally the day had come.  We get to the museum, paint an imaginary animal with a real artist, and are about to go on a tour of the museum.  Aside from the sweaty bus ride everything is going great.  The kids are all well behaved and respectful and MB hardly leaves my side. 

We gather around our tour guide and she introduces herself.  As I’m sure you might have guessed she is a sweet tinny woman who just celebrated her one millionth birthday.  She has been giving tours at the museum since her kids were all grown up – probably just after WW2.  Her name is Betty.

She guides us around the museum and shows the kids several of the paintings.  She tells them the stories behind them and asks the kids to pick out their favorite details.  She even has a few costumes and props that we use as a group to recreate the scenes on the canvas.  The toughest part of my job is making sure none of the kids touch any of the art.  No problem, I can do this all day.

The fourth or fifth painting we gather around in called The Grief of a Pasha.  It’s a painting of a Turkish ruler mourning the death of his tiger.

Betty:  OK, kids this painting is called The Grief of a Pasha.  What do you see?

Random Kids:  A tiger!  A guy!  Flowers!  Candles!

Betty:  That’s right.  Now what about the tiger, do you think he’s alive or dead?

Random Kids:  Alive!  Sleeping!  Dead!

Betty:  Well, this tiger is dead and that man was his owner.  That’s why he looks sad.  What about the man?  Look at his clothes, what kind of man if he?

……silience……until……

MB:  Ooh, Ooh, I know!  He’s a TERRORIST!!!