3-26-14 A Post About Poop, or rather another post about poop.

You know how boys are gross and will come out of the bathroom and proudly proclaim, “I feel about ten pounds lighter.”  I totally get that now.  A few hours after I took a few stool softeners on Tuesday I finally pooped.  I felt so light I thought I was going to float away.  The cramping was gone.  It was AMAZING.  It made me even more determined to keep things moving.

I’ve been on my regiment for a few days now and the reviews so far are mixed.  The “go” is easier but not more frequent.  I’m going to swap the stool softener for a fiber supplement.  I’m sure you’ll all be holding your breath, waiting to find out if I can successfully regulate my bowel movements.

Ok, enough about crap.  Let’s talk about morning sickness.  What a Bitch.  This morning on my way to work I had to pull over to vomit.  Except that, then I didn’t.  I’m not much of a puker.  When my stomach is upset it just tends to stay that way.  Rarely do I get the sweet relief of throwing-up whatever is making me feel ill.  I probably haven’t thrown up in years.  This morning though, I was sure it was going to happen.  I pulled over, started sweating, my mouth began to water, opened the car door, leaned out, and… nothing.  Nothing but an awful gurgle in my stomach and a small burp.  And  now I continue to feel like crap.  Awesome.

It might seem weird that a person who has tried so hard to GET pregnant would complain so much about BEING pregnant.  I guess I just thought that since I had to go through so much physically and emotionally to get pregnant I was owed an easy pregnancy.  I feel like I should get to be one of those women who feel great and look awesome for all nine months.  I guess I’m just an entitled brat like that.